I once knew a 9-year-old girl who indeed did one of the most prized renditions of therapy with her and me on my website—me with hyper-eyelashes, her with eyes for days, in her depiction of us both engaged in soul-playing. Every detail was accurate – down to the stripes on my dress and my tights, and even the height of my high-top sneakers was captured.
She first appeared in my office, acknowledging terror about an upcoming sleepover at a school event. She was struggling with separation anxiety from her mother and challenging herself because she did indeed wish for the of an overnight adventure of a 5th-grade camp. She had, indeed, set the intentions of wishing for the exhilarating body awareness that comes from being proud of overcoming. Right beforehand, her body almost went limp, holding her mother’s hand with the loose grip of an oxygen mask.
This was a familiar comfort of thrusting into her mother’s deeply nourishing arms that many of us can recall. In this nourishing space, we celebrated her mother’s loving embrace while challenging her to have the courage to have adventures outside of her mother’s arms.
Immediately before the sleepover, she caught herself, going limp one last time, then did the most courageous thing you could possibly imagine. “I HAVE to let go of what I’m grasping onto. Without letting go, I will never have adventures or meet friends! I will never discover majestic summer camp.”
In my most earnest acceptance of her as she was, she had the courage to push herself into another realm. In letting go of her mother’s arms and feeling her inside of herself, she was able to have the time of her life.